When Cozy Fails

The Messy Side of Slowing Down

Chapter 17 of the Empowered Healing Series

Link to Chapter 16:https://calm-core-cozy-layers.blog/2025/04/10/the-80-grace-why-showing-up-imperfectly-still-counts/

Everyone says slow down, rest more, be kind to yourself.

It sounds lovely… until you actually try it.

Last weekend, I gave myself permission to do absolutely nothing. No work. No chores. No errands disguised as “just popping out for one thing.” I brewed a cup of tulsi tea (that I always want to like but never really do), wrapped myself in my softest blanket, turned on a dim lamp, and flopped onto the couch.

I was ready for my healing moment. A full-on cozy experience.

The Reality: Restless Brain, Itchy Soul

Ten minutes in, I was already spiraling.

I stared at the ceiling. Then my phone. Then the crooked photo frame that’s been bothering me for months. Then the inside of my tea cup like it had the answers to life.

My brain, which had been told to “rest,” instead turned into a chaos command center.

Should I organize the closet? Should I reply to that one email? Should I learn classical dance? Should I finally watch that 3-hour documentary I said I’d watch 6 months ago?

It was less “peaceful retreat,” more “like a curious toddler with a smartphone and no bedtime”

IMAGE CREATED WITH AI — INSPIRED BY REAL FEELS AND COZY CHAOS

From Hurricane to Tropical Storm

Here’s the truth: I’ve always been a category 5 hurricane. High energy. Fast-paced. Doing ten things at once — not because I had to, but because that’s just my nature.

But after my health took a turn, I was downgraded — gently but firmly — to a tropical storm. I had to learn how to slow down. Not by choice, but by necessity.

And it’s tough. Slowing down doesn’t come naturally to me. My family has to remind me — kindly but repeatedly.

My husband will even text me from another room:

“Looks like you’re still working… do you want to sit down for a moment?”

My son — who somehow prefers doing his homework right at the kitchen counter while I’m cooking — will look up and say,

“Can you please stop and watch some TV?”

And my daughter, who’s with me on the weekends, will gently suggest,

“Mom, how about going out for a coffee? At least you’ll take a break.”

Apparently, everyone around me is better at spotting my burnout than I am.

And I smile at them… but it rarely registers until I’ve already hit that wall. Until I crash — mentally, physically, and emotionally. Then the realization comes: Oh. Right. I probably needed a break two hours ago.

The Cozy Myth

Let’s be real — slowing down isn’t always magical.

Sometimes it’s boring. Sometimes it’s awkward. Sometimes it feels like you’re wasting time while the rest of the world is out there achieving things and ticking boxes.

So if your version of rest looks more like rearranging coasters, scrolling aimlessly, or mentally redecorating the room — you’re not alone. I used to think rest had to feel good to be real. That if I wasn’t instantly recharged and glowing with inner peace, I must be doing it wrong.

Now I know better.

Redefining Rest

Rest doesn’t always come wrapped in fairy lights and herbal tea.

Sometimes it looks like lying in an odd position, staring at the ceiling, fighting the urge to check your to-do list for the 12th time. And yes, even if your tea tastes like regret, it still counts.

Eventually, I settle. Not because I’ve mastered the art of rest — but because I’ve stopped trying so hard to make it all work together.

You’re Not Alone

So if your idea of rest involves opening and closing random drawers, snack cravings, overthinking, and occasional guilt… same. You’re not broken. You’re just human. Maybe even a recovering hurricane like me.

Let the thoughts swirl. Let your body pause. Let someone text you that gentle reminder.

You don’t have to wait for a crash to deserve rest.

What does “rest” actually look like for you — and have you ever felt weird or guilty while doing it? I’d love to know I’m not the only one.

The bits and pieces of this blog were actually written last week — scattered thoughts that didn’t quite come together at the time. But somehow, it all started to make sense after I met a friend for a spontaneous coffee date. She’ll know it when she reads this — and probably smile — because we’ve been texting non-stop ever since we got back home.

May God bless her, and everyone who reminds us to pause, breathe, and just be for a little while.

-Nitya

🌟 Ready for the next layer?

👉 Read Chapter 18:

https://calm-core-cozy-layers.blog/2025/04/13/breathe-like-you-mean-it/